This was not my intended next post, and I was quite sure I didn’t even want to talk about what is happening with our country currently, but there are just some things I want to share. Does anyone else feel like these past few weeks on “shelter” or “quarantine” are really similar to the first few weeks postpartum? There are a lot of the same feelings for me: anxiety, overwhelm, uncertainty, isolation, loneliness, insomnia, etc. To be fair, I haven’t even really been in quarantine as I am lucky enough to be able to still go to work every day, but I haven’t been anywhere else except to work for the past two weeks. I would have considered myself a homebody and fairly introverted, but I realized how often I enjoyed a meal out, a quick trip to the grocery store, and to get some coffee.

I am in a lot of mom groups on Facebook…one for baby carriers, baby clothes, buy sell trades, etc. The biggest thing I have noticed through all of this, is that with the uncertainty of the pandemic, comes a rise in the desire for women to suddenly want to have home births. I see at several posts per day from women who have blatantly stated they NEVER considered a home birth, but now they don’t feel safe being in a hospital, they can’t have the support they originally wanted or they are fearful of being separated from their baby. Every time I see one of these posts, I feel a little bit of anger, and a whole lot of jealousy. It’s not that I don’t want these women to have a home birth, no that’s not it at all. It’s that they never wanted one before and now it is a home birth will make them feel safe and supported. I saw a post last night of a woman who said she feels like we are in an episode of the Handmaid’s Tale. That she never saw herself as a home birth mom, but that she was too afraid of hospitals right now. The first comment I saw was “You can have a home birth if you want! You can do it! You are strong and powerful!” Ok…let me tell you how much these type of comments can hurt someone like me. I wanted a home birth, for years, and not because it was the best option in a pandemic, but because it was what I truly desired for myself and my baby. Commenting that you can have one if you want one, is simply just not realistic. There is a ton of preparation that goes into wanting and having a successful homebirth. You cannot just show up to a midwife’s office at 38 weeks and prepare for an unmedicated birth. Ok, maybe some of y’all can, but I personally prepped physically, mentally and emotionally for an unmedicated birth for months, and I still didn’t get it!

I am going to tell you the reasons that were most important to me to have a home birth. First and foremost, it was the prenatal care. I spent an hour or more with my midwife at every appointment. My midwife required only one ultrasound, at 24 weeks for the anatomy scan. People ask me, how do they know the baby is not breech? Midwives have these great tools called hands in which their art and skill of palpation is not lost. I did not have to drink that nasty orange drink. Of course, we did a test for gestational diabetes, but it was not a chemical laden drink with orange dye… no thanks. My care provider was a text message away. The personalized level of care you get with a midwife cannot be matched. Beyond the prenatal care, I wanted a home birth for the comfort, privacy and after care. Hospitals are bright, they smell like bleach, people are sick in hospitals, and I hate needles. What better place to bring a human into the world than a home? While home birth did not work for me, I still believe it is a wonderful option for a low risk pregnancy. Even though I was very low risk, it’s important to remember my situation was not emergent while I was in labor, it was just long…. very long. Midwives have a lot of training for emergency situations as well.

If you are considering a home birth during this pandemic, it’s important to ask yourself why you want one? (I do have a friend that always wanted one, and this is kind of a push toward that, and that is totally different.) If it is fear based, you should start to re-evaluate what your fears are. Are you fearful of the virus? Being separated from your baby? Not having the support you desire? I also know there is a lot of mis-information floating around out here that you cannot have anyone with you if you care having a baby at the hospital. It is simply not true. I reached out to my nurse friend that works in Labor and Delivery at Thomas Hospital in Fairhope, Alabama and she told me they are allowing one support person. You can change the support person each day. If you were planning on having a doula, photographer, your mom, or others, yes this really does put a damper on your plans. However, most women only have their spouse in the room with them for the delivery. I have seen a lot of doulas that are teaching moms even more things they can do on their own, and also utilizing facetime to help the mom through labor. I encourage you to do research on every option and choose the option that best aligns with your values, desires, health choices. Decisions about when, where and how you labor and deliver your baby should not be made out of fear, but out of freedom of choice.

Are you due with a baby in the next few weeks? How has your birth plan changed? Has this time in life felt similar to the first few weeks of postpartum for you? Let me know in the comments below!